Flower Fortune- Sweetbriar: Poetry and fragrance.

I woke up in a rush this morning with Edward leaning over me, My poor Esther^*how sick you are, and little and your face is all red. But he seemed blurry and coarse and he sat down beside me, Where's Harry? I asked. I was sleepy and I wanted my husband's familiarity, not the fantasy world that Edward was offering me. My grumpy, sick, little mistress, he said, smoothing my hair back from my face, your husband is with half your children, your best friend is with the others, and he called me and asked to come watch over you.

My husband had known me so well my whole life, again he knew about my want for Edward. Edward knew what I was thinking and he lay down beside me. Kiss me, he said, and I sniffed and said I couldn't possibly I had mono and he said, I've already had it and I look at you and I need a kiss but I was in my husband's bed and I refused. So he picked me up and brought me to the couch and we watched spongebob like children and the whole time I held his hand. Oh Edward why am I in this black hole? Where is the same me that I was?
How young, and he rubbed his beard on my head, my little chicken is; not pock-marked yet in your illness, I hope? The world will save you and I will love you always. And he rubbed my back and tugged my ears and was just as wonderful as in my dreams. He quoted poetry to me and kissed my neck and I forgot who I was for minutes at a time. All day I drifted in and out of consciousness and my awkward lover pressed his lips to my ears and gave me pieces of rock candy to suck on and said, I love you Esther, and I will be your guardian.

I don't know how I feel now.

^*Esther is a narrator from Bleak House. She gets very ill in the middle of the book and becomes disfigured, but her inside beauty never changes. Her much older guardian becomes her lover for awhile, but is always her protector. Whenever Edward thinks I am acting like a little mother or naive he calls me Esther.