Flower Fortune- Sweetbriar: Poetry and fragrance.

I thought I was gone for a minute. To go get a bagel, a coffee, to sit down in class and just feel out my professor, see where he stood on Oliver Twist versus David Copperfield. I thought I was gone for a minute. To listen and interpret, to get lost in words and the analysis of life works from an author's past. But the minute I sat down, I realize I've been gone for lifetimes before, been gone from everything that I once held so dear to my heart, so close to my goals and dreams. And I could sit there forever-looking at too many books to read, too many letters to write, too many Frosted Flake bowls to empty out, too many diapers to change. I've been getting my worlds mixed up lately. My student world, my mother world, my lover world, my every world. It used to be easy to keep everything separate. It used to be a complete barrier in everything I did and said and thought in those other worlds. But since everything is becoming so real and perfect, they keep getting muddled, and I'll find myself reading to my children when I thought I was comparing passages in class. One day, I'll get this all right.

This morning, my children were sleepier than usual. No one wanted to have a bath, no one wanted to go to school, even my little Virginia was cranky and resistant. Harry could see I was exhausted from no sleep last night; he helped dress the younger twins and made sure the three boys left with Rev with breakfast in their stomachs. When he left to check things at work, I fed the three younger children, Belle being an absolute bid and never once taking her food without complaint, and then let them on the floor to play. We have no nanny anymore, so I had to watch them right up until my class time, when Harry returned with bags full of groceries and a report from the hospital.

All day, I have to write. For school, for work, to make sure that my children have something to live on. Hopefully Reggie and Louise will visit soon. I know they will make sure I get my work done and the children will be well cared for.

I'm not very religious, but everyone here pray for me.
It's going to be a long week.